Holy S*** at the O.Q. Corral

The first security guard to arrive to the shuttlebay was Crewman Sarneth.  He opened the doors to the bay... but when he tried to walk in... he couldn't.  Something was blocking his path.  He couldn't see what.  But, he could see what was in the shuttlebay.

There were three members of Arcadia's crew – Lt. J.G. Dennh (a conn officer, he believed), Ensign Ringo, and Ensign Quarton.  And a young woman.  Short, reddish-blonde hair.  A short, red dress.  Very attractive.  And... how was Ringo in an energy cage?  No one from security ordered a containment field!

Tapping his com badge, he said, "Crewman Sarneth to the rest of the crew.  The good news is... Ringo is contained.  The bad news is... I have no idea who did it."

Ringo, demented as he was, was now fearing for his life.  Nay... his very existence.  This wasn't some crew member he could pay back at his leisure.  Oh, no.  This was a Q.  The closest thing you got in the universe to God... that they could prove.  And she was bound and determined to do SOMETHING to him.

"Tsk, tsk, Wolfie.  You have lost every shred of a sense of humor since you left the Continuum.  I know.  Let me exchange his head with his... what do you humans call it... his ass."

Quarton rolled his eyes.  He had almost forgotten what a pain in the ass Q could be sometimes.  "You aren't listening.  You can't do that."

"Q" grinned.  "But I can do this."  With that, she turned and blew a kiss to Ringo.

Ringo grimaced as light flashed around him... and revealed... nothing.  He still looked like himself.  He breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Q" grinned even wider.  "Oh... I bet you think I missed.  Check your pants, Ringo."

Ringo's relief vanished.  His pants?  What did she mean?  He pulled the waistband forward and looked down.  His eyes almost fell out of his head.

Quarton was confused.  "What did you do to him?"

"Q" laughed.  "Let me put it this way... he and I match now.  Technically."

"I don't get it."

"You wouldn't.  I saw that little episode with the hottie from Bartok Seven.  Goodness me, Wolfie... I never saw anyone run that fast in my existence."

Ringo, in the meantime...

"Where is it?  Where is Simon Junior?"

"Q" looked back.  "He NAMED it?  You must be kidding me.  Hmmm... now that I think about it, maybe he needs... what are they called..."  She turned back towards Quarton.  "Wolfie... give me a hand... what exactly do you call these?"  With that, she slipped the straps of her dress off her shoulders and dropped the top half to around her waist.

Quarton, although he had been flustered by Eve, was really getting irritated now.  "Those, Q, are breasts.  And you are NOT giving Ringo any."

At the mere mention of getting breasts, Ringo started crying.  Big time.

"Oh, come on.  Think about how cute he'd look with a nice set of these... breasts, you say.  After all... I think it's kind of fitting... seeing as he's been staring at mine for the last five minutes."

"I don't suppose I could convince you to stop?"

"Q" grinned yet again.  "Nope."