Place Foot Firmly in Mouth and Try Not to Chew Too Quickly

Joining the tactical specialist after the captain left, Fairchild said, "He seems different from the Gray I remember."

"Indeed.  I will monitor his behavior more closely and notify the chief medical and psychological officers should it warrant a more professional assessment.  Should the captain become unfit, the regulations are clear."

"Careful there, Colonel.  If I didn't know you better, I'd have to report you for planning a mutiny."

Shuzo glared at Fairchild, aware that she had seen hir service record.  After an awkward silence Shuzo handed Fairchild the eggnog and cookie.  "Dispose of these for me.  Regulation clearly states that there shall be no eating or drinking while on duty."

Smiling, Fairchild gobbled the cookie and gulped the nog.  Shuzo stared at her disregards of regulation in disbelief.

"What?" Fairchild responded.  "You can't write me up for that.  You ordered me to dispose of them and I did.  I can't help if you failed to specify how."

"Such insubordination is unbecoming of you, Lieutenant.  It sets a bad example for the rest of the crew."

"Why thank you sir," Fairchild teased.  "You know the captain's right.  You should lighten up a bit.  Perhaps if you smiled more."

"My smile has been known to scare small animals and children," Shuzo deadpanned.

Fairchild was agape from the reply, not knowing whether Shuzo was serious or this was the Axanar's first attempt at comedy.  A couple of bridge officers found it to be the latter and attempted to muffle their snickers so as not to bring the Axanar's attention their way.

Finally composing herself, Fairchild had to ask, "Was that an attempt at humor?"

Shuzo's only response was a raised brow ridge as s/he returned to hir station.

Going back to work as well, Fairchild asked, "The returning crew and I have organized a sorta coming home party in holodeck three later.  Will you be there?"

"I do not believe I will.  I have a very busy schedule, but should I become available I will place the appropriate priority to it and put it under consideration."

"That's all that I ask, sir."  Fairchild continued working at her station as Shuzo crossed over to check on the bridge's weapons lockers.

Noticing the opportunity, Lieutenant Rodriguez leaned over and whispered to Fairchild.  "Why did you invite the mothball.  It isn't one of us."

"One of us?" Fairchild returned.  "A member of Arcadia's crew?"

"Original crew, Lieutenant.  It didn't ship out with us.  Wasn't there when we almost died.  We should have left it in Andromeda.  You saw what it did to its ship and crew.  Yet the captain let it stay.  And that's not even the first time the lizard has murdered, no.  I heard a rumor about its actions at Wolf 359.  Think about it; how long has it been in Starfleet, a hundred, two hundred years.  And it's only earned the rank of lieutenant colonel.  I tell you, we are not safe with that thing on board."

"Hush!" Fairchild whispered.  "I invited him so as not to be rude.  Very much like you're being right now."

"It will kill us, just you watch," Rodriguez uttered under his breath as he returned to his console.

"Uh, Lieutenant Rodriguez," interrupted Ensign Brown, seated next to him.

"Yes," Rodriguez responded, annoyed.

"Did you know that Axanar hearing is one of the most acute of all member races?"

Rodriguez looked to Fairchild for confirmation.  When she nodded his eyes widened and his face became pale.  Cautiously turning in his chair to see if the 'mothball' had overheard his conversation with Fairchild, he noticed that Shuzo was deeply devoted to concluding hir inspection of the bridge's insurgency precautions, recording notes on a PADD.  A sense of relief and self-assuredness filled Rodriguez.  Nudging Brown, Rodriguez whispered, "Guess its hearing has faded with age."

Brown turned around to see what Rodriguez was talking about.  "Maybe, but I bet the colonel's eyesight is better than ever," he responded, motioning in Shuzo's direction.

Rodriguez looked around in horror.  Directly across the bridge, Shuzo's stare was intense: An intensity magnified by the sinister smile adorning the Axanar's face.

Fairchild took a moment to whisper to Rodriguez without turning from her station.  "Should I notify sickbay to prep for surgery?  Though not fatal, that foot in your mouth must hurt."

Rodriguez hung his head in shame and returned to work, while Fairchild and Brown restrained their laughter.

"As you were, gentlemen!" ordered Shuzo.