Predestiny?

"...there are so many questions, it is difficult to not blurt them all out at once," Kaiel was saying.

You and me both, Neria thought.  Unlike her father, she didn't have all the answers.  But, no, that wasn't true either: Her father never had all the answers.  He just projected that kind of knowing confidence.  His daughter wasn't that good.

"If your suggestion is genuine, Captain, I would consider the opportunity to be one of a lifetime.  Who knows?  It may be why I have come to the Arcadia, at this moment?..."

Neria glanced sharply.  Unless whoever assigned him knew more than she did – she wasn't prepared for that – then that sounded like... predestiny.  She shifted in her chair.  Something had been on her mind ever since arriving in this time; more so, after her father's baptism.  The Sirenn man's comment brought it to focus.

Neria didn't believe in predestiny.  Destiny didn't make her.  She made her own destiny.  Or so she believed.  Was it the comparison, or the correlation, that unsettled her?  Or just that she might not be in control of her actions, an instrument, a pawn of some higher purpose or design?... or just plain, unabashed guilt.

Guilt riddled her on several levels.  Why had her father been picked for this cause he suddenly believed in – assuming he wasn't deluding himself?  He seemed transformed... freed of the angst and doubt that once plagued him.  Why couldn't she have that luxury?  It would have made it easier to get over her son... among other things.

Another notion flashed to mind: Sitting in a computer room, surrounded by monitor screens – screens and screens, each representing a different point in time.  One did not cause events to happen in any one of them, by watching – one simply watched, and saw what happened at each stage.  Past, present, and future, all at once.  Was that how God saw the world?  Was there a higher order?  Was it God's purpose?  Didn't God punish the guilty, the arrogant, who violated the natural order, His order... as she did, by claiming such power for herself, going back in time to change history?

Was God watching her?

Neria eyed Kaiel once more.  Did the Sirenn believe in God, too, in their own way?